Nineteen years ago I became a mother. I gave birth to Jay Alexander Tavares on March 9, 1996 in Modesto, CA. Jon missed his birth, since he just graduated boot camp and wasn't able to fly home until the next week. I still remember when Jay was placed on my stomach, my first thought was it was a baby and I am responsible for this life. I can't call him little since he was 9 lbs 2 oz at birth.
Mother's Day 1997 ~ Jon and I lived in military housing and we were poor. We had very little money. I worked nights at a gas station, while he was at work during the day. An E2 in the military doesn't make a lot of money. Jon decided he wanted to make me a wonderful dinner. We looked in our bare pantry and found some pasta shells, tomato sauce, and govt issued pork in the silver can. Jon has always been an excellent cook, but that evening dinner was so horrible it went into the trash. We dug in the couches to collect enough change to go to McDonald's for some 25 cent hamburgers. Jon and I laugh about that meal every now and then. I have learned how to create menus and thankfully, our cabinets are never bare and we always have something to eat. (Although, if you ask the kids there is nothing to be found)
Elisa Evelyn Tavares was born on March 2, 1998 in San Diego, CA (near the monkeys at the San Diego Zoo). She was so tiny compared to Jay at 8 lbs 3 oz. Thankfully this time, Jon was able to be home for Elisa's birth. Jay was excited to welcome his baby home.
Mother's Day 1998 ~ Jon left for a 5 month deployment when Elisa was 6 weeks and Jay was 2 years 5 weeks old. So Mother's Day was spent alone with the kids. I remember I was breastfeeding Elisa and Jay wanted a cup of milk. I said, "Hold on Jay, let me finish with Elisa." Nope, he grabbed a tiny 6 oz cup and poured a half gallon of milk into that cup before I could stop him. I was so frustrated at him and yes, I yelled at the kid. After I cleaned up the mess, I decided to make Jay some jello for a special treat. Again I was breastfeeding Elisa and Jay opened up the fridge (we couldn't find a lock to keep him out!) and pulled out the liquefied jello and dropped in on the newly mopped floor. We spent a lot of that evening on the couch snuggling and reading books. They probably ended up in bed with me as well.
I am relieved to say those babies are now grown. Jay can now pour himself a large 44 oz cup of milk to drink without pouring it on the floor and Elisa doesn't need to be breastfeed anymore. They have grown up to be very independent young adults. As a family we have had our struggles, but we have always loved each other. The first five years of my marriage I spent many days, nights, weeks, and months being a single mom while Jon was deployed. I learned many lessons while being a young mother living far away from family. Probably the most important lesson is forgiveness. Being able to release past anger and pain has brought me so much joy. I know my children are happier, because when they make mistakes they know their parents will not judge them or criticize them. Yes, we may make fun of them, but we have all made our mistakes and deserve the opportunity to be forgiven and accepted. While some of my classmates are having newborns and I preparing my children to move away from home. I am so grateful that my children have become who they are. I know they are not perfect, but neither am I or anyone else. I will keep them even if they cause me grief and stress, because the small moments of knowing they are following their dreams make the sacrifices and hard work worth it.
No comments:
Post a Comment